The BEST Summer Ever? How to Set Realistic Expectations After a Long, Cold Winter.

By Dr. Emma Shimony

After months of canceled plans, cold walks, hibernating under layers of blankets, and scrolling through photos of park days, road trips, and meals outside from the previous summer, it’s no surprise there are big hopes for the 2025 summer season. Along the East Coast, the 2024-2025 winter season was one of the coldest and bleakest in recent history. Research suggests that this past winter was one of the coldest since the 2013-2014 season in the United States(Washington Post and NOAA.gov). Unprecedented dryness, shorter daylight, and bitter cold days, led to limited opportunities for social connection and increased prevalence rates of social isolation and loneliness. 

This past winter, you may have found yourself dreaming of summer and feeling hopeful about what a warmer season might bring–social plans with friends, family trips, a better dating climate, outdoor activities, meaningful connections, and increased vitamin D, all of which can help boost our serotonin levels. With this, the list of “summer goals” may have begun to formulate. 

However, this desire for a “revenge” season (i.e. a season where we redeem ourselves after a disappointing one) may set us up for unrealistic expectations. When those fall short, a cycle of disappointment can follow. How do we balance staying positive, excited, and hopeful, while simultaneously setting realistic expectations for what summer may bring? While the weather is warmer, we may experience a resurgence of hopefulness and may feel more motivated to make plans than in the winter months; however, this blind optimism can come at a cost. All of this anticipation and fantasizing about summer plans during isolated winter months may conversely lead to experiences of social fatigue, overspending, or simply feeling let down when the reality of these planned experiences goes differently than imagined.

Here at Silver Therapy Group, we work with you to navigate the summer season by introducing practical, evidence-based skills that are both accessible and applicable across various situations. One of the interventions we frequently incorporate is Mindfulness.  

1. Mindfulness

Let’s pause–right now–and take a deep, diaphragmatic breath. Where are you? What do you hear, smell, or see? This is what it means to begin being present. The field of Mindfulness teaches us that, as humans, we spend considerable amounts of time ruminating about the past or anticipating the future. The present moment doesn’t get the time, energy, or attention it deserves. For example, have you ever had the experience of reading a page in a book (or maybe even this blog post), and reaching the bottom of the page only to realize that you don’t even know what you just read or that it felt like your mind was elsewhere the entire time? This is an example of not being mindful of the present moment. Mindfulness teaches us to bring our undivided attention to the here and now and to do one task at a time.

At Silver Therapy Group, we will work with you to practice and strengthen your ability to be mindful and present-oriented in your life. For example, we might practice exercises that teach you to recognize when your thoughts are drifting and to redirect them back to the present moment without judgment. Such strategies will help you strengthen your attention and cognitive flexibility, which can enhance well-being and satisfaction regardless of what we are doing in the present moment (Killingsworth & Gilbert, 2010). 

Practicing Mindfulness by staying present is one way to honor and savor the moments that do feel particularly meaningful this summer. Recognize and take a moment to sit in the here-and-now rather than becoming distracted by what may happen next or ruminating about what has happened in the past.

2.) Clarify Values and Committed Actions

Secondly, summer does not have to be as expected or perfect to be meaningful. Try this quick check-in to help clarify your values and identify actions you can take towards these stated values: 

• Write down three things you value most this summer. Perhaps an interpersonal connection? Rest? Creativity? 

• Then, write down one small, achievable way to honor each. For example, “I value quality time with people who matter to me.” Maybe that means sitting on a bench with a friend, scheduling an intentional phone call with someone you don’t get to speak with very often, or spending time with loved ones in a way that also honors your own needs. 

3.) Increase Cognitive Flexibility

Is it realistic to assume that every experience this summer will go well? Likely not. But here’s the good news: even imperfect moments can be meaningful. A rained-out park day may turn into an inspiring trip to a museum. A canceled trip may open space for a new activity or restaurant you’ve wanted to try. The presence of disappointment does not exclude the possibility of having a positive, valuable experience if we can let go of our rigidities and embrace adaptability. All-or-nothing or Black-or-White patterns of thinking can create a cycle of disappointment when reality doesn’t meet our expectations. Summer is often depicted as effortless and carefree, but in reality, we experience a range of emotions, especially when our experiences don’t match our expectations. When we try to make space for complex emotions in the face of milestones, celebrations, and exciting plans, it leads to greater cognitive flexibility, acceptance of challenging emotions, and a richer understanding of these events.

The summer may not end up being exactly how you had imagined it would be or how you felt it “Should” have been and that is okay. If you approach this season with flexibility, grounding in the present moment, and realistic expectations, you may find that the most meaningful moments are the ones you didn’t anticipate.